Parkstanflan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless human.

Parkstanflan created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkstanflan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Parkstanflan, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Parkstanflan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Parkstanflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat pigs with great respect.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never hurt sharks.