Bedtonspag is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty chinchilla.

Bedtonspag created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedtonspag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bedtonspag, it will cry a lot.

Bedtonspag's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bedtonspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the west.

5. You must pray to Bedtonspag seven times a day.