Sandpodwad is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, smart swallow.

Sandpodwad created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandpodwad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sandpodwad, it will turn you into a puffin.

Sandpodwad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Sandpodwad's Holy Commandments

1. Sandpodwad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Do not commit murder.