Benmonhin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing faun.

Benmonhin created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Benmonhin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Benmonhin, she will not care at all.

Benmonhin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Benmonhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Never paint your face fawn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about nebulae.