Laglooptar is a god.

He takes the form of a large, capable chicken.

Laglooptar created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laglooptar, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Laglooptar, he will turn you into a tree.

Laglooptar's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Laglooptar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near doves while wearing brown stockings and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never think ill of sick snakes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not wear white clothing.