Tagcemlin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-powerful hydra.

Tagcemlin created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagcemlin, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagcemlin, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tagcemlin's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tagcemlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Put Tagcemlin first in all things.

5. Never think about optics near aardvarks while wearing red shoes and balancing eight silver spheres on your face.