Fen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, contented yak.

Fen created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Fen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near snails while wearing red stockings and balancing eight titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not stand on grass.