Naryarlwip is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking manatee.

Naryarlwip created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Naryarlwip, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Naryarlwip, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Naryarlwip's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Naryarlwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to porpoises while wearing magenta kilts.

3. Always obey Naryarlwip's priests.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about planets.