Jamarmhog is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent lizard.

Jamarmhog created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamarmhog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jamarmhog, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Jamarmhog's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Jamarmhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Run away if nine tortoises approach from the north.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never look in ponds.