Wathogveen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, blissful walrus.

Wathogveen created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wathogveen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wathogveen, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wathogveen's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Wathogveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if nine grasshopers approach from the south.