Dissjopmet is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, selfish clam.

Dissjopmet created parasitic wasps four years ago.

If you believe in Dissjopmet, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissjopmet, he will boil you in a big pot.

Dissjopmet's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Dissjopmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near tortoises.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dissjopmet.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Hide from white shrews for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your chest cyan.