Jabbutwit Loopmipmil is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced clam.

Jabbutwit Loopmipmil created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Jabbutwit Loopmipmil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabbutwit Loopmipmil, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jabbutwit Loopmipmil's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jabbutwit Loopmipmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near voles while wearing fawn scarves and balancing seven carbon spheres on your face.

2. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Hide from orange shrews for they are unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.