Sognurtdog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, stupid porpoise.

Sognurtdog created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Sognurtdog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sognurtdog, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sognurtdog's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sognurtdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three foxes in a large pit.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Always obey Sognurtdog's priests.

5. Never pour water over plants.