Gadhasbell is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, intelligent scorpion.

Gadhasbell created the solar system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadhasbell, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gadhasbell, she will turn you into a puffin.

Gadhasbell's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gadhasbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not eat coconuts.