Zimyarppommeg is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful spider.

Zimyarppommeg created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimyarppommeg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zimyarppommeg, he will throw large rocks at you.

Zimyarppommeg's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Zimyarppommeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Always help squirrels in need.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Zimyarppommeg on top of all buildings.