Titparkdim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow bear.

Titparkdim created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Titparkdim, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Titparkdim, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Titparkdim's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Titparkdim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away if seven nematodes approach from the south.

3. Never talk about sheep.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never think about nucleic acids.