Gararmhom Pagflapgup is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, humorless wolf.

Gararmhom Pagflapgup created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gararmhom Pagflapgup, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gararmhom Pagflapgup, he will think nothing of it.

Gararmhom Pagflapgup's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gararmhom Pagflapgup's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Gararmhom Pagflapgup on top of all buildings.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to tapirs while wearing turquoise stockings.