Tandidtaf Xuckcisshiv is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring hummingbird.

Tandidtaf Xuckcisshiv created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tandidtaf Xuckcisshiv, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tandidtaf Xuckcisshiv, he will think nothing of it.

Tandidtaf Xuckcisshiv's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tandidtaf Xuckcisshiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Worship no other gods but Tandidtaf Xuckcisshiv.

5. Do not hurt porpoises.