Flamdumflat Lanweefoss Muttabfab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, cheerful wolf.

Flamdumflat Lanweefoss Muttabfab created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamdumflat Lanweefoss Muttabfab, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flamdumflat Lanweefoss Muttabfab, she will destroy your favourite star.

Flamdumflat Lanweefoss Muttabfab's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Flamdumflat Lanweefoss Muttabfab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Flamdumflat Lanweefoss Muttabfab on top of all buildings.

2. Always help sick sharks.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.