Sidfaswip is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able slug.

Sidfaswip created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidfaswip, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sidfaswip, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sidfaswip's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Sidfaswip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near otters while wearing gray trousers and balancing seven nickel spheres on your feet.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Never paint your back green.

5. Never feed figs to swans while wearing pink hats.