Midtafminhadrotvinbinsaw Jentiffunquartsidontkinshav is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair human.

Midtafminhadrotvinbinsaw Jentiffunquartsidontkinshav created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midtafminhadrotvinbinsaw Jentiffunquartsidontkinshav, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Midtafminhadrotvinbinsaw Jentiffunquartsidontkinshav, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Midtafminhadrotvinbinsaw Jentiffunquartsidontkinshav's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Midtafminhadrotvinbinsaw Jentiffunquartsidontkinshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Do not keep eight birds in a large pit.

5. Do not commit murder.