Jatgemflat Kinponarngan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, weak butterfly.

Jatgemflat Kinponarngan created the Small Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Jatgemflat Kinponarngan, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jatgemflat Kinponarngan, she will curse you with boils.

Jatgemflat Kinponarngan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jatgemflat Kinponarngan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to doves while wearing hats.

2. Jatgemflat Kinponarngan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. Always help gulls in need.