Sakhapomtmifgedbastciss is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, cheerful raccoon.

Sakhapomtmifgedbastciss created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakhapomtmifgedbastciss, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sakhapomtmifgedbastciss, he will turn you into a mouse.

Sakhapomtmifgedbastciss' most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Sakhapomtmifgedbastciss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine snails approach from the west.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never paint your hands violet.

4. Do not dye your hair gray.

5. Never feed turnips to gulls while wearing brown rings.