Jonfudnill is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate jackal.

Jonfudnill created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonfudnill, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jonfudnill, it will jump up and down on your head.

Jonfudnill's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Jonfudnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity.

5. Always treat frogs with great respect.