Bonwonlam is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, flying lobster.

Bonwonlam created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonwonlam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bonwonlam, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonwonlam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bonwonlam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. Do not keep five tapirs in a large pit.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never laugh near snails.