Dintadkam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient mink.

Dintadkam created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dintadkam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dintadkam, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dintadkam's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Dintadkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. You must pray to Dintadkam eight times a day.

3. Run away from blue monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. You must love Dintadkam.

5. Never feed rice to swans while wearing pink shirts.