Motbemnat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak ant.

Motbemnat created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Motbemnat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Motbemnat, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Motbemnat's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Motbemnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Retreat if four aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.