Bamtin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, almighty spider.

Bamtin created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamtin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bamtin, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Bamtin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bamtin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three sheep approach from the north.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near eagles while wearing magenta boots and balancing seven gold spheres on your arms.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Do not commit murder.