Fidvonkgep is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless parrot.

Fidvonkgep created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fidvonkgep, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fidvonkgep, he will remove you from existence.

Fidvonkgep's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fidvonkgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fidvonkgep's name in vain.

2. Never paint your back brown.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.