Stafflammeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, all-powerful hedgehog.

Stafflammeg created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafflammeg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Stafflammeg, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Stafflammeg's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Stafflammeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Worship no other gods but Stafflammeg.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Stafflammeg in the centre of the settlement.