Komkapfag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered narwhal.

Komkapfag created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Komkapfag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Komkapfag, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Komkapfag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Komkapfag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Komkapfag.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always look after injured hamsters.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. You must pray to Komkapfag five times a day.