Baggepkim Kemlimcimhontab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish octopus.

Baggepkim Kemlimcimhontab created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baggepkim Kemlimcimhontab, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Baggepkim Kemlimcimhontab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Baggepkim Kemlimcimhontab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Baggepkim Kemlimcimhontab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. You must pray to Baggepkim Kemlimcimhontab seven times a day.

5. Always help sharks in need.