Saktikfag Landogflat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, humane bee.

Saktikfag Landogflat created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saktikfag Landogflat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Saktikfag Landogflat, he will turn you into a rock.

Saktikfag Landogflat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Saktikfag Landogflat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never paint your face white.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.