Dintitmatpit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy wyrm.

Dintitmatpit created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dintitmatpit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dintitmatpit, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dintitmatpit's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Dintitmatpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Dintitmatpit must be the most important thing in your life.