Mobtarpjam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair finch.

Mobtarpjam created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobtarpjam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mobtarpjam, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mobtarpjam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Mobtarpjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never allow dogs to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never feed lots of tomatoes to doves while wearing orange boots.

4. Never curse while facing west.

5. Never eat green fruit.