Sidwipmapdussgessort is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthinking dugong.

Sidwipmapdussgessort created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Sidwipmapdussgessort, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sidwipmapdussgessort, it will destroy your favourite star.

Sidwipmapdussgessort's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Sidwipmapdussgessort's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Never wear mauve jumpers on sacred days.