Somrutgid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate pigeon.

Somrutgid created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somrutgid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Somrutgid, she will be very unhappy.

Somrutgid's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Somrutgid's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never feed lots of cherries to otters while wearing yellow coats.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near manatees while wearing fawn shirts and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.