Metbidfod is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy fish.

Metbidfod created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Metbidfod, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Metbidfod, he will turn you into a dog.

Metbidfod's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Metbidfod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Metbidfod on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Never talk about special relativity near turtles while wearing yellow coats and balancing six gold spheres on your arms.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.