Pibmatfas is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent cow.

Pibmatfas created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pibmatfas, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pibmatfas, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pibmatfas' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Pibmatfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest gray.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Pibmatfas.

5. Always look after injured sheep.