Xinbafhingen is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, loving armadillo.

Xinbafhingen created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Xinbafhingen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xinbafhingen, it will turn you into a slug.

Xinbafhingen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Xinbafhingen's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. You must pray to Xinbafhingen six times a day.

5. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the east.