Hotvabbag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring tapir.

Hotvabbag created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotvabbag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hotvabbag, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Hotvabbag's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hotvabbag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Do not speak about limes.

3. Never gather three ducks in one place.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

5. Feed all hungry horses.