Bagrotqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, duplicitous wombat.

Bagrotqueeg created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagrotqueeg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bagrotqueeg, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bagrotqueeg's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bagrotqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bagrotqueeg.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never feed melons to ducks while wearing purple coats.