Stanmismid is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, fast hydra.

Stanmismid created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanmismid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stanmismid, he will send you a sign.

Stanmismid's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Stanmismid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near ants while wearing gray jumpers and balancing four titanium spheres on your head.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear magenta hats.

4. Never eat bark.

5. You must love Stanmismid.