Dogmutcam is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, resourceful mongoose.

Dogmutcam created oxygen seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogmutcam, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dogmutcam, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dogmutcam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dogmutcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near manatees while wearing black shoes and balancing seven iron spheres on your head.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Dogmutcam loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.