Farnkabvid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent fly.

Farnkabvid created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnkabvid, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Farnkabvid, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Farnkabvid's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Farnkabvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Never sit near snails.

3. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Worship no other gods but Farnkabvid.