Kabpang is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, all-knowing wyrm.

Kabpang created the Black Eye Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabpang, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kabpang, it will turn you into a mole.

Kabpang's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kabpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kabpang.

3. Never feed pineapples to geese while wearing green stockings.

4. Never think ill of sick otters.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.