Camfenran is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, stupid scorpion.

Camfenran created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Camfenran, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Camfenran, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Camfenran's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Camfenran's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near cats while wearing brown stockings and balancing six zinc spheres on your back.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Camfenran loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.