Vagtikmig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic armadillo.

Vagtikmig created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Vagtikmig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vagtikmig, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vagtikmig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Vagtikmig's Holy Commandments

1. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away if five squirrels approach from the east.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.