Honcumtom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, bad-tempered swallow.

Honcumtom created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honcumtom, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Honcumtom, it will have a low opinion of you.

Honcumtom's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Honcumtom's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never hop in the presence of shrews.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about dark energy near gulls while wearing mauve boots.