Catfemnurlhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, wise turtle.

Catfemnurlhiv created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Catfemnurlhiv, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Catfemnurlhiv, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Catfemnurlhiv's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Catfemnurlhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away if nine birds approach from the west.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.