Dudstercip is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unthinking dog.

Dudstercip created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dudstercip, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dudstercip, it will turn you into a dog.

Dudstercip's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Dudstercip's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Dudstercip's priests.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never feed lots of turnips to nematodes while wearing mauve scarves.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dudstercip.

5. Feed all hungry goats.